You can hear the voice recording for the diary.
週末に実施した家族会議での結果をもとに、夫婦間での誓約書を作成した。作っているときは、まだ心が揺れていた。
To summarize the outcome of the family meeting held last weekend, I made a pledge for both of us. However, while making the pledge, I couldn’t make up my mind completely.
妻を信じたい気持ちと、次への挑戦への期待が葛藤していて、どちらかというと、やはり新しい挑戦への期待値が高まってしまう。
Right now, I have two conflicting feelings: one is the desire to believe in her, and the other is the hope for future opportunities. These feelings are at odds within me, but honestly, the hope for what lies ahead seems stronger.
もちろん、相応のリスクや代償を払うことになるので、チャレンジに支払うコストはとても大きい。それらを回収して、余りある利益を享受できるかは、全くわからない。
Obviously, since I would need to pay compensation to proceed with a separation, the cost of starting a new life would be significant. I have no idea whether that new life would be worth the cost.
でも、お金のマイナスは取り返せる自信はある。後は、お金で解決できない部分である。例えば、子供と会えなくなること。こればかりは、新しい人と作ればOKのように、頭数だけでは決められない。
That said, I’m confident I can recover from the financial loss. The greater concern is the loss that money can’t compensate for—like losing my connection with my son. This isn’t something that can simply be replaced by having another child with a new partner. It’s not about numbers or “head count.”
離婚したくない一番の理由はこれ。この問題が解決できるような兆しが見えるなら、チャレンジする価値はあると思う。
For me, the biggest reason I hesitate to divorce my wife is the thought of never being able to see my son again. If there’s a way to resolve this issue, I believe it might be worth taking the leap and giving it a try.
To be continued.
